I'm not gone! D:

Just a quick update journal- I'm still quiet, and I had hoped I wouldn't be, but things got a tad dramatic late last year.

My mother went in for knee surgery, so I've been trying to help out at home to make things run more smoothly. The surgery for that went really well, and she had just started going back to work when in December she had a horrific accident on the way home from work.


Source- NZ Herald m.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/artic… (Please ignore the gender error of the article)

I got home from going to the homeopath with a phone call from my father saying she had been in an accident, and she wasn't dead. Those exact words. He showed me the car and I assure you it's WAY worse in person cause you can't see how utterly destroyed the passenger's side was, or that the drivers door tore off DURING the accident when she hit a tree, not after to free her. Her car had 11 air bags which all went off though which saved her life, and she came out with major bruising, and a torn ankle. It has been hard- specially at first. IT took till after Christmas for me to be able to talk about the accident in detail without crying. I've spent the last Christmas helping out at home and being near my mother while she healed, and doing my best to help with the process. We spent Christmas moving her around in a wheel chair. She's now shuffling around on her feet- she can't stand for long, but she is now starting to do stuff independently, like make dinner. She can't leave the house yet, but that'll come soon when the torn ankle and hematomas go She was VERY lucky to be alive, and that has been difficult to come to terms with. She's goign to be going through an investigation to see what caused the accident- they're guessing a Mini stroke (Or a TIA as they call it)- if they can't fix it, she may not be allowed to drive again which will be very upsetting to her, but not the end of the world.

Besides all of that too, I've been dealing with my own health, with calming my mood swings. I'm so much better than I use to be- I'm able to start taking a bit of every day drama type stress without freaking out finally, but it's still difficult to deal with high end stuff. I've had 3 friends in the last few months who have had total breakdowns emotionally. Two needed to get professional help, and one taking their own life. I wont go into details about, cause I care about all the people involved and there are still right now people who hurt a lot about it that follow me (*hugs those people*), but it's hard to see people you care a lot about hurting so much. I hope those people are finding life easier than it was last year, and I'm sorry that my stress tolerance couldn't allow me to be there for them directly. 

And man- I'm sorry if I wanted to send you a card and didn't- I was going to send a good 50 cards, and I sent less than half of that. 8 of them were sent last week. It's been one hell of a year! D:

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Anyways, I've tried to make some resolutions this year to help me stay focused and forward thinking. I didn't have many last year due to leaving my previous flat very emotionally broken and with a crushingly low self esteem. Last year was basically me picking up the pieces of the old me and making it stronger, which I think I'm finally starting to do

• Sell art at an upcoming convention-Going to be stall sharing with Atarial  for Overload Just need to make stuff to sell TuT
• Go flatting and learn to adult- This sounds stupid, but I’ll be paying 3 times the rent I do with my parents currently, and twice the rent of my previous flat. I need to learn how to budget, and grow as an adult. I'm... pretty scared of that.
• Take major steps towards making PseudoDragon / Dragon Twins into a published thing- I’ve got two friends that have said they’d have a chat with me to help me nut out some stuff with my plot if I write my ideas all down. That’s gonna take a while Writing everything down. Installed Office 365 on my computer last week though. IT nearly deleted every story I've written in my life permanently but heeeeey O.o Lucky for super old back ups, right? XD
• Write and draw more- I’m not focusing on upskilling this year. My stamina is still too crap. I need to fix that :3 Time to become a creative machine before I freak out that I’m not Da Vinci already XD
• Exercise in a way my body can handle on a regular basis- I spoke to my homeopath last night about this, and I'm going to go back to the gym and start with 10 minutes of walking on the treadmill every 2 days. IT sounds like nothing to people with bodies that can handle a work out, but my body can't handle exercise, so this is a huge amount for me. I have to be careful not to over do it- she told me no more than 20 minutes, but I'll see how it goes I'm really excited to make some progress forward